forget and forgive

forget and forgive is the advice we hear very often. it is the panacea for ending all disputes , stopping all quarrels and removing all illwill. but how do we do that ?  do we have the ability to forget ? i am not aware of any one who has the ability to forget voluntarily. the more one tries to forget something the more it is remembered. the very efforts aimed at forgetting brings it to the fore and in fact reinforces its memory. so forget the desire to forget. instead remember to forgive which should still work